{"id":3241,"date":"2014-07-14T10:38:54","date_gmt":"2014-07-14T17:38:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/?p=3241"},"modified":"2014-07-14T10:42:44","modified_gmt":"2014-07-14T17:42:44","slug":"turn-no-yes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/gov-talk\/career-advice\/on-the-job\/turn-no-yes\/","title":{"rendered":"How to turn a &#8216;NO&#8217; into a &#8216;Yes&#8217;!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/gov-talk\/about-gov\/public-sector-trends\/turn-no-yes\/attachment\/padlock-14\/\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-3244\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft  wp-image-3244\" src=\"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/no.yes_.pearson.jpg\" alt=\"padlock (14)\" width=\"434\" height=\"325\" \/><\/a>The only way to get anybody to do anything is by making them want to do it.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s as simple as that. Of course, it\u2019s entirely possible to intimidate, threaten or plead; but to what avail? One might reach his intended (if diluted) result, yet in doing so will have sacrificed his dignity and will heedlessly create potentially unhealthy relationships. It\u2019s through respect, sincerity and a genuine interest in others that we will ultimately achieve our own objectives.<\/p>\n<p>How, then, do we create circumstances in which our acquaintances seek the targets that we\u2019ve set them? How do we arouse in our friends an eager want that mirrors our own intentions?<\/p>\n<p>Grasping whether a \u2018no\u2019 truly means \u2018no\u2019 is critical to a solid working (and indeed personal) life. When formal job applications return a note in the form of \u2018you were not chosen on this occasion\u2019 or similar then yes, we are able to conclude that, quite literally, we were unsuccessful this time. These setbacks are all too often a direct result of our providing of the wrong information, at the wrong timing, in the wrong situations \u2013 all of which can be put right without difficulty.<\/p>\n<p>But after interviews, follow-ups, or requests for favours \u2013 there is a good chance that such rejections are purely knee-jerk decisions resulting from uncertainty, or ways of buying time: a \u2018no\u2019 now is seen as more simple than a \u2018yes\u2019 at a later stage.Is there opportunity, therefore, to turn a bad into a good; a negative into something tremendously positive? You bet.<\/p>\n<p>Let\u2019s split our methods in terms of our personal and professional environments.<\/p>\n<p>As a hobby I interview key figures within British society about their occupations, and as such am negotiating with the most prominent achievers in politics and business on a weekly basis. Naturally this repeatedly brings refusals (or often complete overlookings of our queries) so a central task within my role is to persuade. \u201cI don\u2019t think this one is for me,\u201d came the reply from a leading journalist earlier in the year. \u201cI\u2019m afraid my advice to aspiring journalists is: don\u2019t! There are far too many.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Being understanding and sympathetic in our interactions is always beneficial. The renowned industrialist Henry Ford famously asserted how the single secret to success lies in the ability to \u201csee things from the other person\u2019s angle, as well as your own.\u201d And so talking about what <em>they<\/em> want, and showing <em>them<\/em> how to get it \u2013 well, there\u2019s nothing better.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThanks for this, appreciate you taking the time to email,\u201d I responded. \u201cA fair number of our discussions are actually more about the interviewee themselves \u2013 successes and memories \u2013 rather than advice. Indeed, those suggestions to avoid the journalism industry completely would be fascinating \u2013 we haven\u2019t heard that yet! No problem if it\u2019s still a no,\u201d I concluded.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t suppose you can do it on Tuesday morning after I come off air at Broadcasting House?\u201d It was just the reaction we wanted \u2013 and it was only accomplished by refusing to accept \u2018no\u2019 as final.<\/p>\n<p>It is still astounding how few people recognise the damaging effects a grudge or bitterness can have on future opportunities: instead, polite and prompt answers to all correspondence, no matter the context, is crucial. Again, a short and robust response of \u201cI\u2019m going to decline. I\u2019m trying to be firmer in turning things down&#8230;\u201d came from a senior newscaster last month. Yet with a courteous and concise follow-up (which included wishing him well in his task of never over-committing in future), the following popped up in my inbox the next day: \u201cNo probs. Why don\u2019t you suggest three dates that suit you and I\u2019ll pick one.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>In our interpersonal relations \u2013 both at home and in professional environments \u2013 we should never forget that our associates are human beings, hungry for appreciation. But sincerity is the difference between such appreciation and flattery; the latter of which will get us nowhere.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTalk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours,\u201d said Benjamin Disraeli, twice Prime Minister of Britain. In work settings we should always be direct and honest with each other; particularly our superiors. When applying for a job, always ask \u201care there any issues with my candidacy?\u201d and deal with them straight in a follow-up influence letter. Move conversations forward, and depending upon what we learn as the result of being curious, we can steadily open up the possibility of a yes.<\/p>\n<p>In essence, <em>don\u2019t<\/em> criticise, condemn or complain as it won\u2019t get us anywhere. <em>Do<\/em> show a conscious willingness to improve, and never fear disappointment! After all, what is a \u2018no\u2019 but a prelude to the next \u2018yes\u2019?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The only way to get anybody to do anything is by making them want to do it. It\u2019s as simple as that. Of course, it\u2019s entirely possible to intimidate, threaten or plead; but to what avail? One might reach his intended (if diluted) result, yet in doing so will have sacrificed his dignity and will [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2887,"featured_media":3244,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[41,8],"class_list":["post-3241","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-on-the-job","tag-career-advice-2","tag-leadership"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to turn a &#039;NO&#039; into a &#039;Yes&#039;! - Careers in Government<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/gov-talk\/career-advice\/on-the-job\/turn-no-yes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to turn a &#039;NO&#039; into a &#039;Yes&#039;! - Careers in Government\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"The only way to get anybody to do anything is by making them want to do it. It\u2019s as simple as that. Of course, it\u2019s entirely possible to intimidate, threaten or plead; but to what avail? 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