{"id":37672,"date":"2021-01-15T18:20:56","date_gmt":"2021-01-16T02:20:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/?p=37672"},"modified":"2021-02-25T13:08:47","modified_gmt":"2021-02-25T21:08:47","slug":"what-drives-your-behaviors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/gov-talk\/about-gov\/education\/what-drives-your-behaviors\/","title":{"rendered":"What Drives Your Behaviors?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; background_image=&#8221;https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/1-1.jpg&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;50px|0|50px|0&#8243; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;&#8221; padding_mobile=&#8221;off&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_3,2_3&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_divider show_divider=&#8221;off&#8221; disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|off&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.23.4&#8243; height=&#8221;200px&#8221;][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Sans||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; text_font_size=&#8221;72&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.1em&#8221; header_font=&#8221;||||||||&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;800px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||3px|&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;||0px|||&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;52&#8243; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><strong>What Drives Your Behaviors?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;25.3125px|0px|0|0px|false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;50px|0|50px|0&#8243; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;1_3,2_3&#8243; column_padding_mobile=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;1200px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;20px||0px|&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;0px|||&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;&#8221; use_custom_width=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_width_px=&#8221;1200px&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/04\/ShelleyR.jpg&#8221; show_bottom_space=&#8221;off&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; align_tablet=&#8221;center&#8221; align_phone=&#8221;&#8221; align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.23&#8243; animation=&#8221;off&#8221; sticky=&#8221;on&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.27.4&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Sans|on|||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#02b875&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;20&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.2em&#8221; header_text_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; max_width=&#8221;140px&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;20px||0px|&#8221;]<span style=\"color: #000000;\"><a style=\"color: #000000;\" href=\"https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/author\/shelleyr\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">SHELLEY ROW<\/a><\/span><br \/>\n[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text disabled_on=&#8221;on|on|&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.27.4&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Serif||on||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#363636&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;16&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.4em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; max_width=&#8221;140px&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;10px||60px|&#8221;]Named by Inc. as one of the top 100 leadership speakers, Shelley Row, P.E., is an engineer and former government and association executive. Shelley\u2019s leadership work focuses on developing insightful leaders who can see beyond the data.<br \/>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Serif||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#363636&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;24&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.5em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;720px&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;0px||0px|&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>A fancy sports car may look great, but if it\u2019s equipped with a 1.6 liter 120 horsepower engine, it won\u2019t perform as a sports car should.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s the same for you. The influences \u201cunder your hood\u201d greatly impact your communication, work, and communication style.\u00a0 Helpful assessments reveal some of this information, but you have <em>stories<\/em> and <em>filters<\/em> that have a major impact, too.\u00a0 Here are some clues from my <a href=\"https:\/\/ilinstitute.teachable.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Management Training for Technical Managers<\/a> series.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Stories<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Our stories are our perception of \u201ctruths\u201d that we allow to soak into us. We receive these from influential people in our lives like parents, teachers, and friends.\u00a0 These stories stick with us even when we aren\u2019t conscious of them, and they can affect our behavior.\u00a0 Some examples include:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Work hard.<\/li>\n<li>Do as you\u2019re told.<\/li>\n<li>Be nice.<\/li>\n<li>Don\u2019t interrupt.<\/li>\n<li>No backtalk from you!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>These all sound relatively harmless, right? Yet when you carry them into certain situations, they can have a negative effect.\u00a0 For example, \u201cBe nice\u201d may keep you from terminating an underperforming employee.\u00a0 \u201cDon\u2019t interrupt\u201d may keep you from speaking up on an important topic.\u00a0 One of my clients struggled to apply reflective listening skills because they involve relaying \u201cWhat I hear you saying is \u2026\u201d and his parent tolerated no backtalk <em>at all.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>To work through these stories effectively, take the time to reflect on these questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What \u201ctruths\u201d taught by influential people have stuck with you?<\/li>\n<li>What personal \u201crules\u201d do you apply to everyday life?<\/li>\n<li>What beliefs lead to boundaries in your behavior?<\/li>\n<li>Do you find yourself needlessly tripped up in certain situations? (i.e. Would you find it hard to ask a neighbor to take care of your plants while you vacation, because you don\u2019t want to impose?)<\/li>\n<li>Do you find yourself hesitating to take action for seemingly no good reason?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; background_color=&#8221;#f7f7f4&#8243; min_height=&#8221;53px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0||0||false|false&#8221;][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|&#8221;][et_pb_row column_structure=&#8221;2_3,1_3&#8243; use_custom_gutter=&#8221;on&#8221; gutter_width=&#8221;1&#8243; make_equal=&#8221;on&#8221; column_padding_mobile=&#8221;on&#8221; module_class=&#8221; et_pb_row_fullwidth&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; width=&#8221;100%&#8221; width_tablet=&#8221;100%&#8221; width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; max_width=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width_tablet=&#8221;100%&#8221; max_width_phone=&#8221;&#8221; max_width_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px||0px|&#8221; make_fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_width_px=&#8221;680px&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;2_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/2-1.jpg&#8221; alt=&#8221;video presentation&#8221; title_text=&#8221;2&#8243; show_bottom_space=&#8221;off&#8221; force_fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; align_tablet=&#8221;center&#8221; align_phone=&#8221;&#8221; align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; animation=&#8221;off&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=&#8221;1_3&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_color=&#8221;#efefe9&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_image src=&#8221;https:\/\/www.careersingovernment.com\/tools\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/3-1.jpg&#8221; title_text=&#8221;3&#8243; show_bottom_space=&#8221;off&#8221; align_tablet=&#8221;center&#8221; align_phone=&#8221;&#8221; align_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; animation=&#8221;off&#8221;][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text disabled_on=&#8221;off|off|&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Serif||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#818178&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;24&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.4em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;20%|10%||10%&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;|10%||10%&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|desktop&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|phone&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p>What are your filters and stories?\u00a0 Take time to identify them. They work <em>under your hood<\/em> and impact your management decisions in unintended ways.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.4.2&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Sans|on|||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#888888&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;12&#8243; text_letter_spacing=&#8221;2px&#8221; text_line_height=&#8221;1.2em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;20px||20%|&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;20px|||&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221;]SHELLEY ROW<br \/>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row use_custom_gutter=&#8221;on&#8221; gutter_width=&#8221;4&#8243; column_padding_mobile=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_padding_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221; admin_label=&#8221;row&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;1200px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0||0px||false|false&#8221; custom_padding_tablet=&#8221;0px|||&#8221; custom_padding_phone=&#8221;&#8221; use_custom_width=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_width_px=&#8221;1200px&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;4.6.5&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Serif||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#363636&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;20&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.4em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;60px||0px|&#8221; custom_margin_tablet=&#8221;40px||0px|&#8221; custom_margin_phone=&#8221;&#8221; custom_margin_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><strong>Filters<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Everyone sees the world through a unique filter. Our filters color our perceptions and decisions. For example, I come from a small farming town in Texas and was raised by a disciplinarian father and polite mother. We always attended church and did our homework.\u00a0 Early in my engineering career for the Texas Department of Transportation, an engineer from New York came to learn about our projects. I responded with a \u201cYes, sir \u2026\u201d or \u201cNo, sir \u2026\u201d to all of his questions, and he became agitated.\u00a0 He felt patronized, and I was stunned.<\/p>\n<p>Identify some of your filters with the following questions:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>What is your cultural background?<\/li>\n<li>What did your parents do for work?<\/li>\n<li>What type of political philosophy did you grow up with?<\/li>\n<li>What educational background does your family have?<\/li>\n<li>Are you the oldest, youngest, middle, or only child?<\/li>\n<li>What hobbies does your family have?<\/li>\n<li>What type of work did you do early in life?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>All these questions and more can reveal filters that can color your judgment. Being aware of them can help you think outside your own box.<\/p>\n<p>What are your filters and stories?\u00a0 Take time to identify them. They work <em>under your hood<\/em> and impact your management decisions in unintended ways unless you are aware and actively managing them.<\/p>\n<p>I go much deeper into this topic in my training webinars, including <a href=\"https:\/\/www.shelleyrow.com\/store\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Top 10 Skills for Technical Managers.<\/a>\u00a0 I hope you\u2019ll check it out.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.22&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;19px|0px|24.625px|0px&#8221; global_module=&#8221;37900&#8243;][et_pb_row column_padding_mobile=&#8221;on&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; max_width=&#8221;780px&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;0px|0px|73.90625px|0px&#8221; use_custom_width=&#8221;on&#8221; custom_width_px=&#8221;780px&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243; _builder_version=&#8221;3.25&#8243; custom_padding=&#8221;|||&#8221; custom_padding__hover=&#8221;|||&#8221;][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;3.27.4&#8243; text_font=&#8221;PT Serif||||&#8221; text_text_color=&#8221;#363636&#8243; text_font_size=&#8221;36&#8243; text_line_height=&#8221;1.4em&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; module_alignment=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_margin=&#8221;||70px|&#8221; text_font_size_tablet=&#8221;26&#8243; text_font_size_phone=&#8221;&#8221; text_font_size_last_edited=&#8221;on|tablet&#8221;] Want new articles before they get published? 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