How Public Service Leaders Can Stay Centered, Even When Chaos Calls
Carolyn Mozell is the founder and CEO of Leaders Who Connect and Inspire LLC and knows firsthand how transformative it can be when leaders and employees treat each other with mutual respect, kindness, and a genuine desire to see each other succeed. Carolyn served in some of the highest levels of local government leadership for over 25 years. Rising from executive assistant to deputy chief, she also knows that leadership is a privilege. Now, Carolyn leverages her direct experience advising elected officials, cabinet level leaders and activating diverse high performing teams to help leaders in business, nonprofit organizations and government agencies do the same.
If you have been wanting to lead with greater self-awareness and composure, especially in high-pressure moments, this article is for you.
As someone who spent over two decades as an executive leader for the Mayor and City Council President of a large metropolitan city, I learned a critical truth about leadership:
Experience and expertise alone won’t make you an effective leader. It may open the door to opportunity, but they don’t guarantee you’ll thrive once you’re there. True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you are while doing it, an awareness and presence that can be cultivated through emotional intelligence.
Understanding Emotional Intelligence in Leadership
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is your ability to recognize, understand, and manage how you think, feel, and act, both internally and in how you relate to others.
It’s built on four powerful pillars:
- Self-Awareness – Recognizing your own emotions, triggers, and how they affect your actions.
- Self-Management – Controlling your emotions and maintaining composure under pressure.
- Social Awareness – Understanding how others feel and recognizing social cues.
- Relationship Management – Using awareness of yourself and others to build trust, communicate clearly, and manage conflict effectively.
Together, these skills help you stay grounded when chaos calls, so you can maintain focus during challenges and lead with confidence — even when the stakes are high.
True leadership isn’t just about what you do, it’s about who you are while doing it, an awareness and presence that can be cultivated through emotional intelligence.
When you’re unaware of what sets you off, your reactions can become automatic — and those automatic responses often lead to stress, strained relationships, and missed opportunities for growth. But when you pause, name what’s happening, and reset, you regain control of your energy and your outcomes.
Self-awareness doesn’t just make you a calmer leader, it makes you a more effective one, saving you hours, even days, of overthinking, frustration, and reactive decision-making that stall your team’s progress and outcomes to the communities you serve.
A Simple Framework to Identify Your Leadership Triggers
Take a few minutes to reflect on this question: What situations or interactions tend to knock you off balance or drain your energy?
Start with your top three. Once you’ve identified them, use this simple fill-in-the-blank framework to uncover your patterns and make intentional shifts:
“When [blank] happens, I tend to feel [blank], and my usual reaction is to [blank].
Instead, this week I’ll choose to [blank].”
For example, “When I receive unexpected criticism in a meeting, I tend to feel defensive and frustrated, and my usual reaction is to shut down or argue my point. Instead, this week I’ll choose to pause, breathe, and ask clarifying questions like, ‘Can you help me understand your perspective?’ or ‘What would success look like from your point of view?’”
Each time you catch a trigger before it takes over, you strengthen your emotional agility — and that’s the mark of a strong, centered leader.
So this week, challenge yourself to:
- Notice what stirs your emotions.
- Pause before responding.
- Choose your next step with purpose.
Leading with Emotional Intelligence isn’t about being perfect or emotionless, it’s about being present and intentional. When you know your triggers and manage them skillfully, you create psychological safety for others, foster stronger collaboration, and make decisions rooted in clarity rather than reactivity. That’s how emotionally intelligent leaders show up and lead, especially when chaos calls.
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